Pick your battles

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• About how life sometimes can get a bit easier if you try and pick your battles and letting things go •

Despite all it’s wonder and beauty, motherhood can be quiet hard at times. I wish I could say our life was mostly smooth sailing, but it’s not. Instead I try to navigate my way through treenage tantrums, moodiness and small annoying things that suddenly turn into big scenes. And although I know everything would be easier if I embraced the choppy waves in hugs and endless love, but l find it hard to be that kind of person.

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I have had stressful jobs with big responsibilities and had conflicts with friends, family and colleagues but I can still truthfully say, that nothing has ever challenged my patience as much as a child losing its cool over a pair of wrong underpants, a ponytail that doesn’t feel exactly like it should or an uncomfortable sock. After more than six years of being a mother, I know that starting a fight doesn’t get us out of the door or to the dinner table any faster than not doing so, and it sure doesn’t make my life easier. That’s way I have started to practice getting better at picking my battles.
I’m never going to give in on everything and let chaos reign, but a good friend of mine told me, that your life can actually become easier, if you try and pick your battles. It’s hard I know, and as a start, she suggested to make a list of things that I’ll never stop fighting for and then try and give in on all other matters. Pick your battles, and let go of the rest. Or at least some of them. So I did. And even though I kind of hate to admit it, it does work for me. We get out of the door without any big scenes and my daughter survives without a wooly hat on her head. We go swimming without going to the bathroom first, and it turns out that my daughter is right, she doesn’t have to pee while we are in the water. I don’t comb her hair, and even though she might look like a woodland troll, she still gets through the day just fine.

I like being in control, and seeing things evolve in the way I want them to. But I guess that’s just not reality any more, when motherhood becomes the walls of that little box you call life.

But teeth brushing, being polite, talking nicely, sitting still at the dinner table and being a good sister and a good friend are things that they’ll never make me erase from my list. I still believe that some things are worth fighting for.

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3 Comments

  1. maria franck December 14, 2015

    Ej, jeg gik lige i mit hovede og bryggede på et lille indlæg om min treårige… Men jeg kunne simpelthen ikke få det sat sammen, uden at jeg bare lød som en sur mor! Så tak for dine ord! og rådet. Jeg havde brug for dem!

    Reply
  2. kh@kathrinehoue.com December 17, 2015

    Selv tak søde!! Åhhh de tre-årige.. Jeg forstår stadig ikke hvordan et så lille menneske kan få en helt op i det røde felt (og hvorfor de ikke bare kan forstå, at alle ville blive meget lettere, hvis de gjorde hvad man bad dem om.)
    Det der med at kæmpe lidt mindre, virker virkeligt for mig. Men åh hvor skal jeg nogle gange tage nogle dybe indåndinger.
    K

    Reply
  3. Michelle October 3, 2016

    A lovely post! As a mum of three children (aged 3 to 11) there are times I need to remind myself of this valuable piece of advice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the joyous, and at times challenging, path of motherhood 🙂

    Reply

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